双语幽默英语笑话

网上有关“双语幽默英语笑话”话题很是火热，小编也是针对双语幽默英语笑话寻找了一些与之相关的一些信息进行分析，如果能碰巧解决你现在面临的问题，希望能够帮助到您。

双语幽默英语笑话汇集

　1、话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。

　A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿!」

　B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特!」

　轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」

　Note by Jodie: 此处用西班牙口音说Sorry肥更有趣

　2、昨天来了个外国人，进到办公室，前台**左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的："Hello?"

　外国人："Hi."

　前台**："You have what thing?"(你有什么事?)

　外国人："Can you speak English?"(你会讲英语吗)

　前台**："If I not speak English， I am speaking what?"(如果我不会说，那我现在说的什么)

　外国人："Can anybody else speak English? "(还有谁能讲英语吗)

　前台**："You yourself look. all people are playing，no people have time， you can wait， you wait， you not wait， you go."(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都没空，你愿意等就等，不愿意就走你)

　外国人：I want to ask about online shopping.(我想咨询下关于网上购物的事情)

　前台**:Online shopping?is Use Internet shopping，You de understand?(网上购物?就是用上网购物，你的明白?)

　外国人：。。。。。

　前台**：you can baidu?top leader?!!你可以去百度?尚品领袖?

　外国人：。。。。"Good heavens. anybody here can speak English?"(我的上帝，这儿有谁会说英语吗?) I want to speak to your head."(我想和你的领导谈谈)

　前台**："Head not zai.You tomorrow come."(头儿不在，你明天再来吧)

　3、Bad news and good news 好消息和坏消息

　An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.

　一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。

　"I've got good news and bad news," owner replied.

　?这有好消息和坏消息，?老板回答。

　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.

　?好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。

　When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.

　我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。?

　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed," What's the bad news?"

　?真是太好了?，艺术家是喜形于色，?那坏消息是什么

　With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."

　带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，?买画的人是你的医生?。

　4、女儿的来信

　Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university.

　She?s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.

　Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.

　Joan和她的邻居在一起聊天，聊到各自的女儿;Joan说我女儿在上大学。她很聪明，你知道的。每次我们接到她的来信，我们都要查字典。

　她的邻居说，你真幸运!每次我们接到我女儿的信，我们都要去银行。

　5、A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

　一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，

　She dressed her in pink from head to toe.

　她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。

　At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

　在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。

　At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.

　在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。

　The child was crying and begging for some special treat.

　那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要着什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，

　He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.

　这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。

　Then she heard his mother's reply.

　然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，

　"No!"she said, looking in her direction.

　?不行，?一边往她的方向看过来，

　"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"

　?你今天不能买一个小妹妹了，那位女士把最后一个买走了!?

?

更多相关文章：

1. 英语笑话带翻译20字

2. 英语小笑话大全 爆笑

3. 英语幽默笑话

4. 幽默英语笑话推荐

5. 超级经典英语笑话

6. 幽默英语笑话小段子

7. 英语幽默小笑话

8. 英语幽默笑话大全

9. 英语的幽默小笑话

10. 带翻译是简短英语笑话大全

　6、Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.

　Mum:There is no electricity tonight.

　Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.

　迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

　妈妈：今晚停电了。

　迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

　7、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　好孩子

　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　?昨天给你的钱干什么了

　?我给了一个可怜的`老太婆，?他回答说。 ?你真是个好孩子，?妈妈骄傲地说。?再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢

　?她是个卖糖果的。?

　8、Teacher: Here are two bird,one is a swallow,the other is a sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?

　Student: I can't point out but i know the answer.

　Teacher: Please tell us.

　Student: The swallowis beside the sparrow,and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　两只小鸟

　老师：这里有两只小鸟，一只是燕子，另一只是麻雀，谁能告诉我们哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

　学生：我不会分辨但我知道答案。

　老师：那请你告诉我们。

　学生：燕子旁边的是麻雀，麻雀旁边的是燕子。

　9、A dog can play the piano 会弹钢琴的狗

　A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

　The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

　The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink onthe house!"

　So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

　Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

　Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

　The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

　The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

　一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。

　酒吧服务生对他说，?这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!?

　那个人对服务生说，?这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!?

　服务生回答说，?呃，如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!?

　那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的 服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。

　突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

　酒吧服务生问那个人，?那是怎么回事

　那人回答，?噢，那是它妈妈。她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。?

　10、Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?

　学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

　11、Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

　Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.

　史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇.

　服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的.

　12、Son: Dad, give me a dime.

　Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?

　Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

　儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

　父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗?

　儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗?

更多相关文章：

1. 英语笑话带翻译20字

2. 英语小笑话大全 爆笑

3. 英语幽默笑话

4. 幽默英语笑话推荐

5. 超级经典英语笑话

6. 幽默英语笑话小段子

7. 英语幽默小笑话

8. 英语幽默笑话大全

9. 英语的幽默小笑话

10. 带翻译是简短英语笑话大全

;

英语笑话带中文翻译大全

1、Goldfish金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"

当空中**给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中**面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."

"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

8、TwoBirds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短

笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。我精心收集了 英语笑话 带中文翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

英语笑话带中文翻译：The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手

　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

　有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

　猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

　半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

　Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。

　哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?

英语笑话带中文翻译：As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒

　A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you? "

　A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：?酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫

　这时一个男人大声喊：?再来一瓶白兰地!?

英语笑话带中文翻译：At Auction Fair 拍卖会上

　At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.

　The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."

　On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

　拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：?有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。?

　话刚出口，就听有人喊：?我出300美元。?

英语笑话带中文翻译：Calming your son 让你儿子静下来

　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."

　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：?别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"

　站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：?您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。?

　男人看着那位女士说：?太太，我是阿尔伯特。

笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。我精心收集了有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇1

　i'll see to the rest

　a guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

　"come on, miss!" he shouted. "shut the door, please!"

　"oh, i just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

　"you just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and i'll see to the rest."

　其余的事由我负责

　一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

　?快点，**!?他喊道：?请把门关上。?

　?噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。?她回答道。

　?请把门关上好了，?列车员说：?其余的事由我负责。?

　有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇2

　first flight

　mr. johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, mr. johnson was very worried about accepting. finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and mr. johnson boarded the plane.

　his friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. mr. johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　after a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "look at those people down there. they look as small as ants, don't they?"

　"those are ants," answered his friend. "we're still on the ground."

　第一次坐飞机

　约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。

　他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

　过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：?看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是?

　?那些就是蚂蚁，?他的朋友答道，?我们还在地面上。?

　有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇3

　my first and my last

　when george was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. he soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

　george had a friend. his name was mark. one day george offered to take mark up in his plane. mark thought, "i've travelled in a big plane several times, but i've never been in a small one, so i'll go."

　they went up, and george flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

　when they came down again, mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "well, george, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

　gerogy was very surprised and said, "two trips?"

　"yes, my first and my last," answered mark.

　第一次与最后一次

　乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。

　乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，?我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。?

　升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。

　后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：?乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。?

　乔治非常吃惊地问：?两次飞行?

　?是的，我的第一次和最后一次。?马克答道。

关于“双语幽默英语笑话”这个话题的介绍，今天小编就给大家分享完了，如果对你有所帮助请保持对本站的关注！